oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
