Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
