i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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