i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
