sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
