Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
