dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
