I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
