The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
