I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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