Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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