Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
