Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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