Having a random hookup so left but love u
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
