this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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