did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
