"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
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