Duck Duck Cougar?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Your penis caused this!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize