I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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