Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
