You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
