This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
