my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
