hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
