if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
