Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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