Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
