Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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