Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
