i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize