@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
