I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize