Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
