we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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