How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Drake has all the answers
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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