porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Randomize
