$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
