This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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