well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
And the cops told us we were all naked.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
