Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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