Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
