my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Let's paint friendship bongs
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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