I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
