He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
