You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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