am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
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