Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
