one might say we're banned from that church
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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