If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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