Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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