Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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