I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
