Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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