Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize