I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
