I cockslap morals
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Randomize
