i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
