i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
