I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
