just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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