Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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