You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
