i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
